Guess what?
This morning I broke up with my bed and embraced my inner-sexy-Stewart. Yes. I have finally made the notorious chocolate chip cookies. They are nestled lovingly inside of my cookie jar right now.
That is not an innuendo. At all.
I have an actual cookie jar. And it is always full of cookies. That I have baked all by myself from scratch and not purchased from the store. (Mostly because I hate store bought cookies. They taste chemical-y. And if they do not taste chemical-y than they are crunchy. Cookies should be soft and chewy, never crunchy. Somebody write this down and pass a law.)
I very much like bribing my guests into loving me with home baked goods. So I am always baking and making said goods in case any guests drop by. My cookie jar must always contain cookies. It is the only charm I have. The sweetness of the cookies distracts people from my cripplingly sarcastic remarks and general hatefulness.
That is the magic of my cookies. (You may take that as you please. Both my figurative and literal cookies are amazing.)
Crunchy cookies, both literal and figurative, have no place in this world. Milk should not be required to soften them for enjoyment. And you are welcome to take that any way you would like. :)
ReplyDeleteSteph- "Crunchy cookies, both literal and figurative, have no place in this world."
ReplyDeleteBwahahahaha at the thought of figuratively crunchy cookies. I hope my cookies never grow stale and crunchy.