Ack!ward

So right now would be the peeerrfeeectt time to make those cookies I was talking about yesterday.

Except guess what I am doing instead. Yes. Laying in my seductive bed. Plus this time I have brought the computer. Threesome. Oh yeah.

No sex with inanimate objects involved. Just extreme laziness.

Last night went well. I made shredded beef and cheese enchiladas. Except minus that radioactive bright red canned enchilada sauce because that stuff is DISGUSTING. I know that is how 90% of white people make them, but not me. I have my own secret sauce.

Yes. Secret sauce. Stop being dirty. It's delicious.

Also made black beans and rice. I am all making my mexican last name proud.

Yes I am a green-eyed, blonde-haired, white-out-colored girl with a mexican last name. Think Sanchez or Martinez. Except neither of those because I'm not telling you my real last name. But it is like that.

Okay, people think. She must have just married a mexican guy. Except when people meet my husband they are even more confused. While he is 100% mexican, he does not look it. He has black-ish hair, dark-ish eyes and skin almost as white as mine. Yes, he is all pale for a mexican. Mostly people think he is armenian.

So I am white and he is armenian, and we have a very mexican last name that confuses people.

To make things even more confusing. My dad, the man my mom has been married to for 20-ish years, the man who raised me, the man who adopted me but is NOT my biological father, is italian. He has black-ish hair, dark-ish eyes and light-ish skin.

When we meet my parent's friends they think I am my mother's daughter and my husband is my dad's son. Which would make us step-siblings.

So my husband and I start dry humping as soon as they mention this.

If we have to be creeped out by the idea of us being step siblings? Then they will be witnesses to our awkward, creepy, step-sibling love.

And I hope they have nightmares.